Something Worth Protecting

Five years ago, I was stuck living in a nightmare I was completely oblivious to. And now that I’ve broken out of the matrix, it’s unbearable for me to watch as thousands of lives waste away just like mine did. I’d been watching for a few weeks, and his routine never changed. He wakes up, eats, goes to work, returns to sleep and the cycle starts over again. My life probably looked just like his does, going nowhere, meaningless, slaving away, living but not truly alive. I want to save them, I have to save them, they have to know what it truly means to be alive. That is my mission.

As soon as the morning sunlight glinted in the glass windows, I hid in the bushes in his yard, the freshly trimmed edges pricked my skin softly. The wooden door screeched as he opened it and began to walk towards his car. I came out of my hiding space and approached him. He didn’t sway from his stride until I bumped into him. I stealthily pulled his key card out of his pocket and kept walking. When I looked back at him, he had driven off with no reaction at all to what happened. I breathed a sigh of relief, Phase one of my mission was complete.

I climbed down a manhole to enter the underground sewer system so I could move around undetected. The putrid stench still made my eyes water slightly as I covered my nose with my scarf. My flashlight was my only source of light as I navigated towards my rendezvous point. A loud rumbling above caught my attention and the sewer began to collapse onto me. I scrambled about for safety as I was surrounded by falling debris. I barely managed to escape with minor injuries. I climbed out of the hole in the ground.

As soon as I got to the surface, thick black smoke filled my lungs and I began to cough repeatedly as I scampered to safety. As I struggled to find my way through the thick fog, I heard someone else cry for help, so I began to walk toward the voice. When I got close, I slowly tried opening my eyes once again. My vision was still blurry, even though the smoke in this area wasn’t as thick as it was on the other side. I could faintly make out who was standing in front of me but I knew it was him.

His brown eyes now looked wide open as his pupils dilated. He kept taking quick breaths as his hands were trembling. He kept looking around in a daze.

“Help me, please, help me,” he said.

I took slow steps towards him but he just stood there.

“Listen to me, I understand how you’re feeling right now, but first, I need you to calm down,” I said.

“Calm down? How do I do that?” he said.

“First, you’re going to take slower, steadier breaths,” I said.

He began trying to slow down his breaths and his hands stopped trembling.

“Thank you, I feel a little better….But I don’t understand what’s happening, I’ve never felt this way before,” he said.

“It’s okay, that feeling just means you’re finally free,” I said.

“Free? Free from what?” he said.

“Free to feel normal human emotions,” I said.

“Emotions?” he said.

“I’ll explain better later. Right now, we have to get to safety.” I said.

He and I kept walking until we found a car. The owner had passed out in front so I dragged him out and sat in the driver’s seat.

“Get in!” I said.

“But what about this guy?” he said.

“I’m sure an emergency response team will be here soon to help these people,” I said.

“Why don’t we wait for them then?” he said.

“They’ll help them but they won’t help us, especially not me. Come on, let’s go.” I said.

He was reluctant but he got in the car and I drove away. After a few minutes, we had left the site of the explosion completely.

“So, what is going on here? Who are you?”

“Five years ago, I woke up in a lab and a doctor told me something I didn’t fully understand at the time and now I’m telling you.”

“You’re talking about these feelings and emotions as you call them right?”

“Yes, my name is Michael, and five years ago, a doctor told me that a micro-chip was inserted into my brain when I was born. It interfered with my ability to process my emotions and basically blocked them.”

“But if I still have my micro-chip inserted, why am I feeling like this?”

“I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be worried about that now.”

“Why would anyone do this? Who would do this?”

“The government does. It makes it a lot easier to control people when they are emotionless. That’s why I need your help to free everyone else Alex.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I’d been keeping my eye on you for a while now.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“I’ll explain later, I promise. Right now, you need to stay calm and try to process everything else that’s happened so far first. You don’t want your emotions to get out of control.”

“Maybe not having emotions was good after all.”

“You’re only saying that because you haven’t had the chance to feel the good emotions yet.”

“The good emotions? What are they? What do they feel like?”

“It’s something that cannot be truly understood until it is experienced.”

“So, where are we going now?”

“I’m taking you somewhere that helped me, it will probably help you too. Just keep repeating the exercise I taught you earlier.”

The orange colour of the setting sun bathed the green landscape as we arrived at our destination. A sweet aroma filled the air from the pots as dinner was prepared on the campfires. Light chatter and children’s laughter as people were slowly returning to their tents after working in the gardens all day.

“Where is this place?” Alex said with something resembling a smile appearing on his face.

“We’re home, my home for the last five years,” I said.

Alex got out of the car and began to walk through the fields. Twigs snapped under his feet as he wandered around with a wide smile on his face. The beauty of the flowers seemed to have drawn him into a place of bliss. After walking for a while, he sat next to a flower bed. The sun had now vanished from the sky and was replaced by magnificent bright light from the full moon.

“This place, it’s…..I can’t quite describe how it makes me feel.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just out here, I don’t have that tight feeling in my chest. It’s like a load has been taken off me.”

“Yeah, out here, there are no problems, just peace and quiet. After the government found out what the doctor was doing, they came after us. The survivors escaped here, and we’ve been building this place over the past few years.”

“What would you do if your mission endangers the peace this place brings?”

“I don’t know but the best way I can think of to protect this place is to take down the government. But I’m going to need your help.”

“I don’t know if I’d be able to help.”

“First let’s just go see the doctor.”

The doctor built a makeshift lab in one of the tents where he treated people, performed minor operations, and continued his research. Four years ago, when the government found out about his operations, they drove us out of the city and we had to make our home out here. When we entered the doctor’s tent lab, his face was buried in a book as he kept flipping frantically from page to page. He didn’t notice either of us until we got quite close.

“Oh, you’re back, and I see you brought a friend. Does that mean the mission was quite a success?” he said.

“Don’t tell me, you’ve been binge-reading again,” I said.

“I’ve told you before, this is the only way I can help you in this battle, and I don’t have much time left,” he said.

“You won’t if you keep doing this,” I said.

“That aside, do you have good news?” he said.

I looked at Alex, who had been quiet for a while. The doc looked at Alex closely and examined him closely.

“How is this possible if the chip is intact,” he said.

“I don’t know, I was just driving to work as usual and then I saw the explosion. The next thing I knew, my heart started pounding in my chest. My body started to get wet and my breathing was unsteady. In confusion, I jumped out of my car and kept wandering around. But then, as I walked past, my limbs slowly froze and I couldn’t move but I was trembling. I started screaming for help, and then Michael showed up and saved me.” Alex said.

“Have you ever had any feelings resembling the ones you had before now?” the doc said.

“No, never, I don’t know, my memories are unclear,” Alex said.

“That’s because most of our memories are tied to the emotions they make us feel. Look, Alex, we need your help to access some information at the government house where you worked. It’s why Michael had to keep an eye on you. This might be the only way to truly save everyone.” the doc said.

Alex stared blankly for a while and then looked at the doctor.

“I’ll help the best way I can,” he said.

We both left the tent to sit outside by the campfire. There, we had dinner before going back into one of the tents to sleep for the night. The next morning came by in a flash. By the time I woke up, Alex was already back wandering through the gardens. I caught him sitting next to the same flower bed as yesterday staring blankly. He didn’t even notice when I got close. I put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” I said.

He took a huge breath.

“Do you like having them?” he said.

“Having what? Emotions?” I said.

“Yes, I mean, I was feeling but now I’m not so sure. Maybe it was better the way it was,” he said.

“I know the feeling, I’ve felt it too but you can’t just go about emotionless. You just have to learn to control them.” I said.

“But, what if you can’t control them?” he said.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ve only been trying for like a day. You’ll surely get better at it. And you know, this is an important emotion you’re feeling.” I said.

“Really? What emotion is that?” he said.

“Curiosity,” I said.

A smile flashed across his face, and we went back to the tents to prepare for our trip. At noon, Alex and I headed back to the city to see if we could find anything in the files at the government house that could help with the mission.

The building stood tall isolated away from the city. We parked a few minutes away from the building to avoid alerting the guards. There seemed to be two of them patrolling the building. We waited until the sun completely went down and the guards left their duty post. Alex asked me to wait outside so he could check if the coast was clear as he uses the key card I returned to him to gain access into the building. A few minutes later, Alex returned but he was not alone. The strange man’s tall stature towered over Alex as I approached.

“Alex, Run!” I said as I turned to flee.

“I’m sorry, Michael, but you’re not going anywhere,” the strange man said.

My breath began to tremble.

“W….wh…wh…wha…..what is going on here,” I said.

“Let’s just say your little rebellion is over and the law has finally caught up to you, criminals,” he said.

The next thing I felt was a jolt of electricity at my back and I fell unconscious.

When I opened my eyes again, I was tied to a pillar in a dark room. The abrasive ropes were scratching my wrist. I called out but there was no response. Then footsteps began to approach and the lights came on. Standing in front of me was Alex and the strange man with a gun in his hands. My blood began to boil, I gritted my teeth and started to breathe hard.

“Oh, I see, you’re angry that Officer Alex here betrayed you and ended your rebellion. I almost feel bad for you but I don’t need a chip to feel nothing for trash like you.” The strange man said.

“What, what are you talking about?” I said.

“Oh, didn’t Alex tell you? Well, of course, it’s a secret after all, government officials of the elite class don’t need a cheap one because we understand what’s necessary to build a perfect society,” the strange man said.

“A perfect society? Is that what you call a society where people are just tools for the elite to use as they please?” I said.

“You see, this is exactly why people like you and that stupid doctor need to be weeded out. Just take a look at where your precious emotions have led you.” the strange man said.

“Really, Alex, you’re just not going to say anything. Was everything really just an act? You can’t tell me you felt nothing. Are you telling me you’ll let them destroy my home?” I said.

The strange man began to laugh maniacally and he pointed the gun at me.

“I know what you’re trying to do, emotional manipulation, that won’t work. And yes, everything was all an act. After this successful sting operation, I’m surely getting a promotion.” he said.

I bow my head in defeat, tears falling from my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered under his breath.

The man turned his attention to him.

“What did you just do? Don’t tell me you’re actually feeling guilty,” he said.

“Andy, you didn’t get to see it, it was beautiful. The laughter of children, the freshness of the air, and the huge landscape. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep denying people these feelings. I don’t know how much longer I can deny myself these feelings.” Alex said.

“I see,” Andy said and pointed the gun at Alex.

“What are you doing?” Alex said raising his hands.

“My job, what you’re doing is treason and I won’t hesitate to soil my hands with the blood of anyone who commits such,” Andy said.

Alex grabbed his hands and a tussle began between the two. The gun dropped out of Andy’s hand near my feet and they engaged in fisticuffs. I struggled to loosen the rope as they continued to throw themselves around. After a while, they both pushed themselves to the floor and I kicked the gun to Alex and Bang! Bang! Andy stopped moving. Alex came over and untied my hands.

“I am sorry for everything, I was just trying to protect myself. But thank you.” Alex said weakly.

“How do I know you’re not just lying again?” I said.

“I know I can’t ask you to trust me, but these people are more dangerous than you can imagine,” he said.

I took it from him and he led me out of the basement and back to where the car was parked.

“So what do we do now?” I said.

“I have to stay back to clean up this mess,” he said.

“No, no, I think you should come with me. I don’t fully trust you but if you just took out your partner, it’s unsafe for you to stay. You shouldn’t have to handle this alone.” I said.

“I’m sorry but that’s not a choice I have to make. I saved your life today, but if you ever come back. You will be killed and it will all be over.” he said.

“What are you saying?” I said.

“I’m saying, this is your best chance of protecting the peace you have over there. If I don’t stay here, I won’t be able to shield you from. You’ve escaped this place and built a home. Don’t throw it all away now, enjoy it while it lasts,” he said.

His words hit me like a ton of bricks as I realized he was right. I’m simply not strong enough to keep fighting this fight. I couldn’t let the home I spent so much time building be destroyed. I have to protect it, it was the only thing I had that was worth protecting. I got into the car and began to drive away, for five years since I gained these emotions. They were a burden on my soul, one that I had carried ever since. I always thought it was a burden I was carrying alone with no one to share it with. But as I drove away from the city with no plans of ever returning. I realized there was someone out there carrying an even bigger burden, I can’t save everyone, I can’t save anyone. I can only save myself